So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
