There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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