I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
