He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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