You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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