maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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