I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
