M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm too high and old for this...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
