She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
