did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize