I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
