Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
