the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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