hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
