Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
