flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
