umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
