even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
