1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
