the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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