dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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