I faked an abortion last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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