If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
