i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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