Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
