im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
