you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
