Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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