someone get that fucking seahorse.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
