I'm drive I can fine osifer
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
