Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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