ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
