Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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