Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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