Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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