dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
