plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
