I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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