Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
