you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
