This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
