Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's Friday. Sex?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
