So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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