The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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