Me too!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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