Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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