I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
