did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Randomize
