it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
