By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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