Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
