we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
